zen and the art of vacuum aspiration

today is the two week anniversary of mewithoutbaby. hooray! i cannot believe how fucking awesome this abortion was. did you know abortions can be awesome and special? i told my ex boyfriend that i was carrying his baby around in my unhappy stomach over a sprite in a bar and asked him to help me. i told a few friends as well, as part of my "don't internalize this fucking situation like last time when it drove you crazy" game plan, but i didn't expect to tell justin and it surprised me when i found myself in a bar all shaky and full of difficult information.

the crap i have dated usually gets poor treatment in this blog but let's go on the record saying justin was nothing but a perfect abortion angel and i would probably marry him if he was just a tick smarter. basically i was a princess for 24 hours, only with fewer patriotic duties. there is seriously nothing more precious and wonderful than the guy who got you pregnant throwing his unfinished sandwich at abortion protesters as you leave the clinic, yelling "YOU ASSHOLES!" and patting your knee with concern. "don't look at them, they're fucking assholes," he said, kindly. "you ok? want a sprite?"

the nurse gave me an ultrasound and asked if i wanted to know anything. last time i just muttered to get it over with. this time i looked at the peanut on the screen as the nurse said "your baby is at 9 weeks and 6 days" and it was like a brand new plane of existence. i made a peanut! holy shit! i felt no regret, just total awe and pleasure, in the sense of being incredibly pleased with myself for a short time. i still have no regrets and in fact the whole situation brought me incredible peace, resolving scores of latent guilt and anger from my last two brushes with unplanned pregnancy. turns out all i needed was to do it right.